Worried about son-in-law’s integrity

Dear Annie: I’m starting to wonder about my son-in-law, “Pete.” He married my daughter some 40 years ago when he was fresh out of the Navy.

Dear Annie: I’m starting to wonder about my son-in-law, “Pete.”

He married my daughter some 40 years ago when he was fresh out of the Navy.

I was concerned that they had no savings and he had no job training. But he was quiet and likable.

Through the years, however, people I respect have called Pete “no good,” “a bum,” “lazy” and “a snake in the grass.” My daughter and grandsons worked and sacrificed to put Pete through college.

One of their boys recently got his girlfriend pregnant, and neither Pete nor my daughter did anything to help that girl.

I gave them $500 for a blood test, but they didn’t follow through. I am worried about Pete’s integrity, but also about that of my daughter, who is not doing the right thing. What should I do? — Worried Grandma

Dear Grandma: Your daughter and Pete have been married for 40 years. It’s a little late to be worried about his influence on her or how they have raised their mostly-grown children.

Might your grandson marry this girl? Will he at least help raise the child and pay support? (He is legally liable for that.)

Please don’t use this moment to chastise your daughter or Pete. It won’t do any good and could damage the relationship you have. Instead, encourage your grandson to take an active role in his child’s life. You could help the young couple financially if you like, and we hope you will welcome your great-grandchild. Stay out of the rest.

Dear Annie: I am in my late 60s, and my husband is in his 70s. It’s a second marriage for both of us. We keep our assets separate so as to provide for our individual families when we are deceased.

Here is the problem: preplanning. I have arranged to have a small insurance policy to pay for my funeral expenses when the time comes. I also have written out specific instructions for my sons regarding my funeral, burial, etc. There would be no decisions left for them to deal with while they are grieving.

However, I cannot get my husband to do the same. He has not earmarked any special funds for his funeral, nor has he any instructions for his children to follow. He won’t even talk about it.

This is so unfair, not only to them, but also to me. I would like his children to take care of the details for his final resting so they are satisfied with the arrangements. Also, they should have immediate funds at their disposal to deal with the costs.

The way it stands now, I would be responsible for everything. It hurts me deeply that he will not see how valuable preplanning is in preventing family squabbles.

I will let him read your response. — Wife Left Up in the Air

Dear Wife: Some people have a difficult time planning for their eventual demise. They fear doing so will hasten their death. Others find it too distasteful, and they procrastinate. But you are right: It saves the survivors a great deal of stress and aggravation to know that things are taken care of. We suggest you talk to your husband’s children about this and see whether they can get their father to help them out.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Only Child in Massachusetts,” the woman who loved being an only child, and I have to say it hasn’t been pleasant for me. There were some good things, like not having to share with anyone and having your parents to yourself. But when my parents passed away, I had to lean heavily on my husband, who was wonderful.

When I married, I told my husband I wanted to have more than one child. Now my husband is gone, and my children are busy with their own lives. They miss having cousins, aunts and uncles, and I would give anything to have a sibling to talk to. — Thankful for My Family

Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Just Posted

Updated: Red Deer welcomes 2019 Canada Winter Games Team Alberta

About 250 Alberta athletes are participating in the Games

Syrian immigrants feel welcomed

Winter Social held at Festival Hall to promote multiculturalism

Small group rallies with pro-immigration message

Group wanted to counter misinformation on United Nations migration agreement

Trump says ‘things are going very well’ with North Korea

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump said Saturday that “things are going very… Continue reading

NDP won’t stop until Trans Mountain is built, says minister

Deron Bilous speaks at Red Deer chamber luncheon

VIDEO: Students in MAGA hats mock Native American at Indigenous Peoples March

Diocese in Kentucky says it is investigating the matter, caught on video by onlookers

CONSUMER REPORT: What to buy each month in 2019 to save money

Resolve to buy all of the things you want and need, but pay less money for them

Anxiety in Alaska as endless aftershocks rattle residents

Seismologists expect the temblors to continue for months, although the frequency has lessened

Women’s March returns across the U.S. amid shutdown and controversy

The original march in 2017, the day after President Donald Trump’s inauguration, drew hundreds of thousands of people

Kriechmayr edges Swiss favourite Feuz to win WCup downhill

WENGEN, Switzerland — It takes a special run to beat Switzerland’s best… Continue reading

WestJet plane heading to Victoria slides off Edmonton runway, no injuries

EDMONTON — A WestJet plane has slid off an icy taxiway at… Continue reading

Sam Bennett scores twice, Flames beat Red Wings 6-4

Flames 6, Red Wings 4 CALGARY — Sam Bennett scored twice including… Continue reading

Rare ‘super blood wolf moon’ takes to the skies this Sunday

Celestial event happens only three times this century

Most Read