A family of brothers marked a special occasion this weekend, as the eldest in the family celebrated 60 years of married life.
In all the four men, ranging in age from 72 to 80 years of age, have more than 200 years of marriage under their belts.
The eldest brother Jake Warkentin, age 80, and his wife Mary, who live in Red Deer, were joined by friends and family from as far away as Ontario and British Columbia at Davenport Place in Deer Park this past weekend to celebrate their 60 years of marriage. The room was decorated with pink carnations, similar to the bouquet Mary carried at her wedding, and her white satin dress — purchased for $75 — was on display.
The couple met more than six decades ago in their hometown of Dunnville, Ont., when Jake’s father told him about a pretty girl in the choir and encouraged him to take her to a family picnic one spring day.
By Christmas they were engaged and by the next June they were married when he had just turned 20 and she was just shy of 18 years of age.
They now have two children, six grandchildren and five great grandchildren. They lived in Ontario, before moving to Calgary in the late 1960s. Mary and Jake lived in Innisfail for 26 years, before moving to Red Deer four and a half years ago.
“To me my wife is still the most beautiful woman in the world and always will be,” Jake said. He said part of having a good marriage is about mutual understanding for each other and trying to be friends.
He said sometimes it can mean knowing when to walk away from a fight to discuss things with a clearer head later.
“Never insist that you are always right,” said Jake, who still works as a Realtor with Realty Executives in Red Deer and in the past worked as a bank manager, in real estate and owned a car dealership in Innisfail.
Mary remembers when they were young her future husband Jake stood out from the other boys because he was always dressed to perfection, with not a hair out of place and a constant crease in his pants. “He looked like a really nice person,” she said.
Asked about challenges they had and Mary couldn’t think of one. “I can’t say we really had any. There are adjustments a person has to make. You never stop learning something about your spouse no matter how long you have been married.”
She said her secret to a happy marriage has been love and compromise, at least occasionally.
Jake and Mary’s marriage was a model for youngest brother Rudy Warkentin, 72, and his wife Joan, who now live in Wainfleet, Ont. and will have been married for 51 years in July.
Asked his secret to marriage and Rudy replies, “The secret is...”, pauses and then says, “Maybe I should ask my wife about that.”
Thinking about it more, the retired teacher said there has to be give and take and no one should ever go to bed angry.
He remembers Joan standing out to him at a Sunrise Service on Easter morning as she sang in the choir. When she needed a drive to another church to play piano he jumped at the chance. Rudy and Joan have two sons and eight grandchildren.
“I have a wonderful husband,” said Rudy’s wife Joan. “The older I get the more aware I am of what a wonderful man he is.”
Middle brother George, 76, was celebrating his 56th anniversary with his wife, also named Joan, this past Saturday. The couple lives in Port Colborne, Ont., near St. Catharines.
“The special part is we are all still with our original true loves,” said George.
The first time George and Joan were set up George stood his future wife up, but later their two best friends managed to get them on a date together. During their first date they got stuck at the top of a ferris wheel. They had four sons, losing one of them, and two grandchildren.
The two of them enjoy golfing, lawn bowling, walking, biking and exercising together. George’s wife Joan said it’s important that couples trust each other and enjoy each other’s company. But it’s also important to know how to communicate on all topics.
“Later in life we learned if we had a problem then we sit down and discuss it, good or bad, until it was OK,” George said.
Second oldest brother John, 78, has been married to his wife Erna for 58 years. She was too ill to travel to Red Deer by plane from St. Catharines for the celebration. He worked with TD Bank, for an under drainage contractor and a school board in the past.
“I have no secret really,” John said. “We took our commitments very seriously. I think our belief in God helped.”
When he first started to see her, his wife Erna’s mother had a different boy in mind for her daughter as a possible husband. However, John’s wife fell in love with him.
Rounding out the group on the weekend was Mary’s sister Martha Traikovski and her husband Sid, who have been married for 46 years, and live close to Jake and Mary. She said she thinks young people nowadays often don’t try hard enough to keep their relationships together.
sobrien@www.reddeeradvocate.com