Turcotte says he didn’t kill himself because he couldn’t find knife

Guy Turcotte says the reason he didn't kill himself with the knife used in the stabbing deaths of his two children is that he couldn't find it.

SAINT-JEROME, Que. — Guy Turcotte says the reason he didn’t kill himself with the knife used in the stabbing deaths of his two children is that he couldn’t find it.

Turcotte is on trial on two charges of first-degree murder in the slayings of Olivier, 5, and Anne-Sophie, 3, on Feb. 20, 2009.

Turcotte has said he drank windshield washer fluid that night as he wanted to die because of psychological distress. He has also testified he felt as though he was dying and that he wanted to take the children wtih him.

While Turcotte, 43, has pleaded not guilty to the charges, he has admitted to causing the children’s deaths.

“You stabbed your children 46 times, why didn’t you have the courage and strength to stab yourself just the once?” Crown prosecutor Rene Verret asked the accused before the cross-examination ended Wednesday.

“I was looking for the knife, but I couldn’t find it,” Turcotte replied.

Verret then said a knife was found under Olivier, who was in his bed, but that part of it was visible, and that another knife was found on the edge of a bath in a room adjacent to Turcotte’s bedroom.

There were also knives in the kitchen, but Turcotte said he didn’t think to use them.

“You’re a cardiologist, you know how to kill yourself,” Verret told Turcotte.

“If I had been all there (mentally), I wouldn’t have tried to kill myself like that,” he replied.

On Tuesday, Turcotte testified he only remembered the night of the slayings in “flashes,” which led the Crown to suggest his shaky recollection was selective memory.

Turcotte says he remembered certain things: sharpening a knife at the bottom of the stairs, downing glasses of windshield washer fluid and sitting in his bed feeling like he was dying.

In another flash, he remembered being in Olivier’s room, next to his bed.

“I have a knife in my hand, I stab him,” Turcotte said, sobbing. “He says: ‘Nooo!’ like he’s whimpering … I realize I’m causing him harm, I panic and I stab him some more.”

Turcotte said the attack on Anne-Sophie went similarly.

The jurors will now hear expert testimony as the defence argues its case that Turcotte be found not criminally responsible by way of mental disorder.

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