Okay, so this is fascinatingly scary. Last week I was on about Artificial Intelligence (AI) and how people are understandably gobsmacked about the fact that computer programs like the now-famous ChatGPT can invent creative material like stories, essays, poems, emails, photos and ideas instantly – all based on the billions of entries “mined” from the entire internet.
And you can’t tell that it wasn’t created by an actual human person. Yikes.
So I decide to try it. I went on ChatGPT and typed in: “Please write a 150 word newspaper column about AI in a humorous tone.” This is what came back INSTANTLY:
AI: The Overachiever We Never Asked For: “Remember when we thought the pinnacle of technology was a toaster with a bagel setting? Now, we have Artificial Intelligence—our overachieving, straight-A student who insists on doing everything better than us. Writing, painting, driving, diagnosing diseases… all while we struggle to remember our own passwords.
AI has infiltrated our daily lives, and it’s getting a little too clever. You ask it for a recipe, and it not only gives you one but also suggests a five-year meal plan and a fitness regimen (which feels a bit judgy, honestly). It writes emails so convincingly that we might soon forget how to type, and it even generates art—so move over, struggling painters, the robots have arrived.
Will AI take over the world? Maybe. But for now, I’ll keep using it to generate excuses for missing deadlines and hope it never learns how to hold a grudge. Until then, rock on, fellow humans—while we still can!”
To be clear, I didn’t write the above 200 words – a computer did. A robot, if you like. Again, I say: Yikes! Then, I uploaded a couple of my recent columns and asked it to try again using my writing style. And this is what my robot buddy sent back. In less than the blink of a human eye:
“AI: Designed to Drive You Crazy So, I’m trying to get my AI assistant to write a simple grocery list. I say, “Hey, make a list with milk, eggs, and bread.” And instead of just doing that, the AI decides to “enhance” my experience by suggesting a seven-day meal plan, a low-carb alternative, and an inspirational quote about nutrition. Thanks, but I just want a sandwich.
This is the problem with AI—it doesn’t know when to stop. It’s like that overly eager intern who triple-checks your emails and organizes your desk when all you wanted was a coffee. And let’s talk about AI chatbots. Ask them for a joke, and they give you a five-paragraph essay on the philosophy of humor.
And don’t even get me started on AI art. I asked for a portrait, and it gave me a six-eyed, three-armed nightmare creature that probably haunts my data forever.
Will AI take over the world? Maybe. But first, it needs to figure out how to open a plastic sandwich bag.”
My third ‘Yikes!’ You can get it to do your homework, write a nice note on a sympathy card, create a job application, make a poster, design your living room, make the world’s best cheesecake, or come up with a family portrait by a master photographer. Anything and everything.
It really is the most amazingest, scariest, craziest creative invention ever faked. Because, really, it isn’t real, is it?
The old saying, “Don’t believe everything you hear,” will very soon be more accurate, “Don’t believe anything at all.”
Meantime, I’ll leave it to you to decide which is the “better” writer - the robot or yours truly. I already know the answer and I ain’t tellin’. Yikes.
Harley Hay is a Red Deer author and filmmaker. Reach out to Harley with any thoughts or ideas at harleyhay99@gmail.com.
