So, for the last few weeks in this Saturday morning space, I’ve been rambling on about nightclubs and slamming on drums and people getting together to party like it was 1969, and there’s actually almost a reason for those rambling reminiscences. You see, in a couple of weeks from now, there is this event that is near and dear to my heart and that of a bunch of other fossil rockers. It’s called the “Jam In June” and this June 15 will be the sixth Annual Fundraiser for multiple sclerosis. Everyone is welcome and…
Dr. Reginald Smoot (interrupting): “Excuse me, but this seems like a shameless attempt at free advertising, and I should know on account of I’m the untenured Professor of Sociology of SICK (the Saskatchewan Internet College of Knowledge).”
Hay’s Daze: “Well, if it isn’t Reg, our occasional column contributor and full-time meathead. What brings you into this space uninvited?”
Smoot: I happened to be in the neighborhood and caught wind of a sociological issue and just had to speak up. And don’t call me Reg.
HD: Yes, well, you are quite good at catching wind, and I dare say, at breaking it too. But since you’re here, what’s on your rather abnormal mind, Reggie?
Smoot: Since my rather brilliant and fairly cost-effective mail-order PhD thesis from the DICK Institute (Diploma Internet College of Knowing) was titled “Lemmings: People Who Gather To Listen To Live Music Are Stupid,” I’ve had my skeptical sociological eye on this annual Jam In June gathering of yours. And don’t call me Reggie.
HD: In fact, you’ve been invited to our live music fundraising party several times, but you’ve never attended. I assume that because you’re too cheap to throw money in the hat?
Smoot: Sociologically speaking, gatherings at music events such as live concerts, dance parties and other forms of human debauchery provide a secular ritual function that fosters negative social connections and influences dangerous collective emotions. In other words, some degenerates seek to shirk their cultural responsibilities of providing useful services to society by reveling in leisure activities that often involve loud music and public gyration all under the auspices of allegedly contributing to a “good cause”. It’s shameful, in my view as an expert on society with a PhD.
HD: Reginald, some of the dumbest people I’ve ever met have PhDs, and yours is from the back of a cereal box! Our little get together every June at the Elks Club in town is not only a chance for people of all ages to enjoy classic rock, pop, country, folk and blues music, attractive dancing and assorted beverages, the generous attendees have donated over $5000 for the fight against multiple sclerosis!
SMOOT: A-ha! I’ll bet that’s because you charge exorbitant prices to attend! And call me DOCTOR Smoot!
HD: Listen, Mr. ‘PhD’ (‘Piled Higher and Deeper’). On the contrary, the Jam In June at the Elks is absolutely free, you skeptical nerf-brain. We pass a hat and everybody gives what they can. And that’s not all. Twenty or so highly experienced (read: ‘elderly’) musicians get together once a year there and donate their time and talent to “rock out” and play often-recognizable songs to the assembled friends, family and fellow fossils. In fact, last year we had five different bands and duos performing from 7:00 pm to the hour when you should be in bed and unable to say dumb things! And we raised some excellent moola for M.S.!
SMOOT: OK, perhaps I’m partially mistaken, but I’m not sure because I’ve never been wrong before. I just might attend this time, in the spirit of sociological research, of course. And for a cold beer.
HD: Excellent! All readers are invited too! See y’all there on June 15th!
Harley Hay is a Red Deer author and filmmaker. Reach out to Harley with any thoughts or ideas at harleyhay99@gmail.com.