Remember when you first saw a guy wearing one earring? Or when you realized that a disturbing number of pretty girls suddenly had tattoos covering their entire arms? How about when your beloved young relative showed up one day with a shiny silver piece of metal piercing their nose?
Well, wait a minute, have you heard about the latest trends in people trying their darndest to be cool and unique by being like other people who are trying to be cool and unique? I’m referring, of course, to the trend for males to shave their eyelashes and for teenagers showing up in public places wearing water wings.
Yes, you may want to read that last sentence again. I did in fact use the phrase ‘shave their eyelashes’ and ‘wearing water wings’ though I hasten to add that these two social phenomena are not related and do not (as far as I know) occur intentionally simultaneously. That would just be stupid.
According to an article by CNN last week, some men are, yes, shaving their eyelashes off as “part of a style trend”. Why, oh why, dear god?! – I can hear you exclaiming as you spill your morning coffee. I had the exact same reaction and spilled half a cup onto my new t-shirt. Not a joke.
Apparently, male persons “in barber shops from Turkey to New Zealand” are having their eyelashes reduced to “stubby lashes” because the result makes them “appear more masculine”. Really?? Would hitting yourself in face with a hammer make you appear more masculine, or just way more stupid?
Videos have gone viral showing guys getting their eyelashes mowed with electric clippers, scissors and little tiny chainsaws (just kidding about that last part), which has caused quite an uproar with ophthalmologists and other people with half a brain. They say eyelashes are there for a reason, and that reason is so trendy chicks can attach fake eyelashes the size of dust brooms onto them. Also, eyelashes help protect the eyes, plus – bonus – they are just about the only body hair to never go gray. Which is reason in itself to cherish them!
Which brings us, with no apparent segue, to teens wearing water wings. My own Better Half witnessed this herself at a drug store recently. A couple of high school boys came in wearing bright red inflatable armbands. You know, the kind little kids learning to swim wear in the pool. Then a friend said she saw a group of girls walking down the street and – you guessed it – they had shaved eyelashes! Kidding again, the girls were wearing water wings with absolutely no significant body of water in sight. And since then, other floatie fanatics have been randomly spotted. Many of you astute readers, especially ones with teens may already know why. I certainly didn’t.
But I finally found some fairly obscure research blurbs that may or may not explain this Whacky Water Wing Weirdness. Turns out there’s a game out there that some graduating high school students have taken to like a water wing to water. It’s called “Senior Assassin” and the idea is to ‘eliminate’ fellow ‘seniors’ by squirting them with a water pistol. Wearing water wings means no squirtage allowed. You can’t be eliminated from the game.
Now, there’s nothing I like more than a good water pistol battle. In fact, I got caught by a new neighbour once when I was shooting through the fence, squirting his barking poodle. And, when I really think about it, if some people have odd shaving and fashion habits – why not? We survived guys wearing man buns and girls sporting tramp stamps, didn’t we?
Harley Hay is a Red Deer author and filmmaker. Reach out to Harley with any thoughts or ideas at harleyhay99@gmail.com.
