There are probably about 50 people in the world who have never heard of Facebook. Clearly they are the lucky ones if you dig a little deeper into the cultural fabric of this social network phenomenon.
It seems quite probable that Facebook will not remain the undisputed champion of social networks forever, but right now they are the big dogs on the porch.
The principle is so utterly simple: connect the entire planet on a social network and let them find a common denominator in cyber-world. For some people, the perceived common denominator may be the complete misconception that other people need to know the intimate details of their lives, as long as the intimate details are the incredibly boring parts of their lives.
They believe that we absolutely need to know that they are doing their laundry or about to take a nap in the next phase of an amazingly bland day. Some will even photograph a meal they prepare it, or a beverage they are about to consume, while we try to stave off a boredom-induced coma.
The problem is that other people created the boredom; and they did it in cyber-space while they broke our will to live.
Even worse, it heads downhill from there for Facebook victims.
Is there a kitten or puppy on the entire planet that has not been photographed for a cute animal shot, complete with a cute caption?
The entire purpose of the exercise appears to be a concerted effort to artificially apply a sense of wit or humour to people with no sense of wit or humour. There are many among us with no discernible comedic skills who mine the funny material from other places on the Internet and present a pitiable illusion that they have some connection with the creativity because they learned how to cut and paste the stuff on Facebook with their laptops or iPhones.
Nobody really buys into their very tenuous connection to creativity any more than they bought into a borrowed comedy routine regurgitated by some humour-impaired clown with a failing memory in the days before cut and paste Facebook stuff. The only difference is that cut and paste humour on Facebook means that at least the guy won’t blow the punch-line in the pilfered joke.
Facebook is also a place where male admirers can flock around female objects of their affection and fawn over everything that she posts online. Women in this scenario can actually be incredibly boring and it does not matter one iota because these clowns are going to love everything that she says on Facebook. It really is “all good” when she says it because these sycophantic losers carry a big torch that cannot be extinguished by mere reality, so they lead a life of illusion that chicks dig massive overdoses of unchecked and unwarranted flattery.
Pluckiness is a part of Facebook. Small and large obstacles in life receive the same “you can do it” chorus from the cheerleading squad in the friend list, many of whom are vague acquaintances at best in our lives. That is the way things work on Facebook where sympathy and words of encouragement from complete strangers reigns supreme. Their thoughts and prayers are with you even if you could pass each other on a street several times a day and never connect the dots.
Some people thrive on this element of Facebook and purposely put out comments that invite a response from their friend list that is actually full of strangers and acquaintances. These people may be somewhat merciful and explain the problem in clear terms or, in the finest tradition of self-centered narcissists desperately seeking the spotlight, they may resort to cryptic phrases followed by a frowny-face icon. The net result is a guessing game where sympathetic posters try to name the dilemma while the centre of attention basks in the warm glow of extra attention for a very minor personal problem. This ploy is particularly effective when it is employed by the aforementioned women who have a small army of male admirers who also believe that chicks dig sympathetic dudes who guess their problem.
I have to add one final point: there are some people who are actually worth the effort to read on Facebook. A very small segment of Facebookers are pretty entertaining and can actually offer an original laugh or thought with their posts. They have an innate ability to entertain the troops and they usually have plenty of admirers.
The only downside to their funny posts is the flood of feeble unfunny attempts to keep up with them after the funny people post something, and that scenario is too painful for further discussion. Apply frowny-face here.
Jim Sutherland is a local freelance writer. He can be reached at jim@mystarcollectorcar.com.