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Life in Retirement: Choose the right attitude, which is always kindness

Feeling empathy is a vital aspect of a good life
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Sandy Bexon. (File photo)

We’ve all seen the signs: ‘Be kind to our staff - abuse in any form will not be tolerated.’ It seemed confusing to me when they first started popping up. I would be waiting in reception at the dentist’s office and think it must be a notice for people who are anxious about their appointment. Isn’t fear of dentists right up there on the list? 

Then I started seeing them at grocery stores and figured people were mad at the high cost of food. At the movie theatre – must have been a bad show. The fitness centre – maybe pushed themselves too hard. But by the time I saw it at a flower shop, I could no longer keep quiet. What could possibly push a person to a point where they are abusive to someone working at a flower shop? For one thing, they are surrounded by the pinnacle of nature’s beauty. Perhaps most importantly, though, they are beaking off at someone who is likely working for minimum wage and has enough problems without hearing any dissatisfaction about a collection of petals. 

The hill to die on used to be a very tall one that was, thankfully, rarely reached. I finally asked the receptionist at my vet’s office when I saw the sign there. Mostly it’s about money, she explained softly, with a kind voice of understanding. I get it, too, things are freaking expensive right now and there’s not a lot of wiggle room in many of our finances. But I’m fairly certain that yelling at the cashier isn’t going pry the price off its escalator. 

I feel such empathy for frontline staff who are taking the brunt of the anger that is oh so near the surface right now. When did it become acceptable, or at least commonplace, to be mean to a stranger who is just trying to do their job. Oh, never mind, I know when anger surfaced. Be that as it may, we all might need reminders of the ways we were taught to cope with difficult emotions – which I learned in elementary school: if you are scared – take a deep breath; if you are angry – count to 10; nervous - sing; lonely – go outside and be in nature; hungry – yadda yadda. Don’t want to pay for expensive dog grooming - some of this is commonsense. 

It brings to mind one of many great quotes from Victor Fankl, “Our greatest freedom is the freedom to choose our attitude.” I say always choose kindness.

Visit Sandy’s website at LifeInRetirement.ca