I am navigationally challenged and have been my entire life. The first time I was allowed to take the bus to my gramma’s by myself, I needed to transfer to a route going to Calgary’s southwest. Me and Mom practised this and I thought I had memorized it adequately, but I needed to phone her later to confess I was lost in the city’s northwest. Yup – went the completely opposite direction from what was rehearsed. And I was about 13 and already looking after other people’s children for money by then – think about that! Thank goodness for phone booths back in the day, that’s all I can say.
But even now, when I’m travelling with my cell phone and all the GPS, google maps and entire universes of information, I am lost. When my daughter and her lifelong friend were little and we were planning our big annual road trip to West Edmonton Mall, I overheard her friend say, ‘Well, we have to leave time for your mom to get lost.’ They all knew, even when they were seven years old. Which is why it’s slightly baffling that this same dear friend just celebrated her wedding IN COLD LAKE. No one in the bridal party is from Cold Lake, but up we all went. My daughter was bridesmaid, so went up early in a different and presumably safer car. Me and the old pug made our way up, up, up by ourselves.
To be honest, I quite enjoyed the drive. It was a nice day and a clearly marked highway, unlike the mysterious hinterlands I was expecting to be entering. I did spend a few minutes searching for a giant egg in Bonnyville, which I later found out was in Vegreville. No harm done, we just carried on.
Me and the dog arrived without incident, which I was quick to inform everyone once we were gathered. I had a few minutes of confusion when Siri led me astray on the way to help decorate the hall. She told me to prepare to veer to the left, which was my first clue that she, too, was a bit unclear of exactly where I was. Typically she was more decisive and used words like ‘turn’ and ‘now!’. So I veered to the left and she flipped out a bit, telling me I needed to make a quick U-turn and just go back to where I had come from. I did that, in a bit of a panic, and then she promptly said the exact same thing! That I was to turn around and go back to where I had veered left. I promptly turned her off, prepared to proceed on my own wits, when I looked up to see a Sheriff car stopped on the roadside. Given my recent encounters with traffic mishaps, I gave a pleasant wave and drove on as quickly as the situation allowed.
The only other time I felt at all lost up there was the next day – the wedding day – and I was standing perfectly still when it happened! I was preparing in my hotel room and using the magnifying mirror to get my make-up in the right spots. I discovered so very much in the extreme brightness of that hotel bathroom. Caves and crevices and hints of underlying remnants of moisture that speak to possible prior life on this face planet. Better to just not see and hope for the best, I decided. I did take one last glance, though, to see a closeup of my eyes and discovered my flimsy few bottom lashes needed a comb-over to cover bare patches.
Well, I did emerge intact and was greeted happily by the joyful group gathered that day. And what a day it was! Feelings of great hope for the new family, of gratitude for the long friendship I’ve witnessed and nurtured over all these years, of sensing the new generation rising and taking its place in the centre of things. Feelings of kinship – I could never be lost there.
Visit Sandy’s column at LifeInRetirement.ca
