When it comes to getting married, they say surviving the bachelor party is half the battle.
OK, nobody says that. I just made it up — but it may be true.
In the weeks and months leading up to a wedding, there are many traditions the couple must endure on the road to the altar. The bachelor party is an important right of passage for most soon-to-be-married men. I’m not sure how wearing leopard-print pants in public is a right of passage, but anyway.
My brother Aric, who is also the best man, was responsible for the planning of the weekend events, so he is to blame for any damage, injury or wrongdoing that may have occurred.
I will be getting married on June 20, and my old hometown buddies wanted to send me off in style last weekend. Saturday morning began with a round of golf on a rural course that could only be described as a cactus-filled pasture with nine flags on it.
With about 20 guys and a few cases of beer involved, it was less about golfing than acting like jackasses. I was forced to wear a tight-fitting pink golf outfit and lost about 15 good golf balls — but man was it fun.
After golf, we all headed back to the Paré farm for a barbecue. Some of the guys did a little skeet shooting, and others spent the afternoon playing Beersbie.
That evening, we prepared to head up to Lloydminster for a night on the town. Before leaving, the guys handed me my new wardrobe for the night — a pair of skin-tight leopard-print pants and a bright yellow T-shirt with an embarrassing old photo of me emblazoned across the front. (Thanks to mom for supplying said photo.)
Once properly attired, we loaded up the old family motorhome and headed for Lloyd, arriving at the bar around midnight.
I’ll confess, things got a little blurry from there, but I remember it being a great night of harmless fun with the guys, and my soon-to-be-wife Amanda can rest assured there was no ‘female entertainment’ of any kind — at least none that I witnessed.
We returned to the farm at about 6 a.m. on Sunday morning feeling more exhausted than I’ve ever been in my life.
I seem to remember staying out all night being a lot easier when I was 18 — now it takes me three days to recover.
I should take this opportunity to apologize to a good buddy who was the victim of a cruel prank on the journey home. He was so sound asleep that he didn’t notice us pouring water on his pants, and when he woke up, we allowed him to believe he had wet himself. Even though I laugh heartily every time I think about it, I am sorry old friend.
So, a big thanks to all the guys who came out for Leo’s Last Stand. It was a great day with great friends and I look forward to the day I can take my revenge.
Leo Paré is a former reporter/columnist and now works as the Red Deer Advocate’s web producer. He contributes a regular blog which can be found at bprda.wpengine.com. Contact Leo at firstname.lastname@example.org.