Motorcycle mayhem continues to leave me standing still

Many readers (OK, three readers) have asked me about my continuing motorcycle mayhem, since my last report (Part 6) a few weeks ago, mentioned the little 1978 Honda CT90 motorbike had quit on me and left me by the side of the road many kilometres east of town. In the rain.

So many things have happened since I last wrote of the two-wheeled odyssey, some of them actually quite good.

First, after my motorcycle mentor, Dave, went into town and got his truck and hauled the dead bike back to his shop, I successfully resisted the urge to blow it up with a can of gas and went on the interweb to look up motorcycle parts instead.

In the days that followed, my other motor mentor, G.T., kindly took it upon himself to remove various fuel-related stuff from the bike. I believe I heard such technical terms as “carburetor,” “gas tank” and “some hoses” – and he meticulously restored them to beyond their 41-year-old glory.

These items were then reinstalled. But to no avail. The bike still sucked. (But apparently, it didn’t suck enough fuel.)

So I found a miraculously cheap carburetor ($24) in a foreign land online and waited many weeks for it to arrive.

The summer was slipping away, so when it arrived, I joyously joined my kind and generous friends and we three motorheads had an enjoyable wrench session wherein Dave worked in his shop, G.T. installed the new carb, and I watched and ate snacks.

All went well until several intense wrenching hours later, when it came time to test drive. I had the honors since I was the most rested up, and that’s when it went, shall we say, downhill.

It wouldn’t start. Like, at all. So again, we roped it to Dave’s golf cart and towed it around the yard. And around. And around. It was getting a tad frustrating.

And then, just as we were about to thrash the thing into little pieces with a sledgehammer, Dave noticed something.

Yours truly had shut off the run/kill switch on the handlebars, thinking I was turning it on. We could have towed the bike until the wheels fell off. So, technically speaking, I was an idiot.

Once my friends thrashed me into little pieces with a sledgehammer, the bike started right up and ran nicely.

For a few milliseconds. Then it began to sputter and cough like a 41-year-old Sears lawn mower. We shut it off and put it in a shed, shaking our collective motorheads.

The next day, with the Two-Wheeled Trio all revved up with fresh motorcycle mayhem, a washer was installed, this little screw tweaked and that big bolt torqued and the Honda was purring like a catnipped kitten.

Miracle of miracles – we were finally ready for another epic ride.

Off we go to the beautiful blacktop of the east country. The plan was for Dave on his big Suzuki road bike and me on my putt-putt Honda to meet G.T. and his sparkling Yamaha Enduro at his house and ride – ride like the wind into sweet sunny miles of memories.

We weren’t halfway to G.T.’s place when my Honda began to sputter and toot like a room full of seniors after Tuesday cabbage rolls. We barely made it to the house, me lurching depressingly along at eight km/h.

We (they) spent an hour working on the bike, and then I insisted I “help.”

And that’s when I lost the one crucial clip that goes on the carb needle thingie.

We never did find it.

Harley Hay is a Red Deer author and filmmaker. He can be reached at harleyhay1@hotmail.com.

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Comments are closed

Just Posted

Red Deer remains at two active COVID-19 cases

Gov’t of Alberta confirms 94 new cases over past two days

City of Red Deer is reviewing audit of Westerner Park’s operations

A road map to sustainability is needed, says city official

Red Deer Museum + Art Gallery has re-opened

Central Albertans can now take in some history and culture at the… Continue reading

Handgun and drugs seized during arrest of suspected drug dealer

Red Deer man facing drugs and weapons charge in connection with June 18 drug bust

Suspect who allegedly fled police traffic stop arrested

29-year-old man was arrested at Deer Park home on Wednesday

‘This year is unlike any other’: Trudeau delivers Canada day address

Sophie Gregoire Trudeau and the Prime Minister release video celebrating the national holiday

Michael Dawe: Canada Day festivities have been interfered with before

Because of the restrictions imposed as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic,… Continue reading

Save-On-Foods stores donate to Red Deer Food Bank

Thanks to some hungry central Albertans, the Red Deer Food Bank is… Continue reading

RCMP hires 10 new officers in Central Alberta district

With the Alberta Government announcing its new police funding model late last… Continue reading

Nestle Canada selling bottled water business to local family-owned company

The Pure Life bottled water business is being sold to Ice River Springs

US unemployment falls to 11%, but new shutdowns are underway

President Donald Trump said the jobs report shows the economy is “roaring back”

Ottawa jail inmates argue anti-COVID measures a breach of charter rights

The prisoners allege guards did not wear masks until April 25

Epstein pal arrested, accused of luring girls for sex abuse

Ghislaine Maxwell was in an intimate relationship with Epstein for years

Most Read