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Roads wagon ruts

I live in an area far enough north to lovingly and accurately be referred to by meteorologists as a subarctic climate.

I live in an area far enough north to lovingly and accurately be referred to by meteorologists as a subarctic climate.

Most winters in Red Deer, it feels like it got a well-deserved promotion to Arctic climate here where brass monkeys fear to tread.

The real winter adventure around my town is any time spent behind the wheel on the streets.

The current city snow removal policy is a steadfast belief in global warming to get rid of the snow.

“If you believe it, the hot air will come” seems to be the driving force behind snow removal policy in my small city of just under a 100,000 winter stunt drivers.

So snow removal is a minimalist approach in which major arteries are cleared long after the horse has left the barn in terms of snowfall.

But the main streets have been cleared more quickly than even a few years ago after a very unfortunate motorist lost her life when her vehicle skidded off a traffic bridge in town.

However, the side streets are essentially wagon ruts in the best tradition of pioneer trails from the Old West, and this is where things get kind of interesting.

Every driver in my city will experience a slower version of a Richard Petty spin at some point in the winter.

The driver will lose connection with the wagon ruts and do a 180- to 360-degree spin on a side street. It is a rite of passage for every driver in my town, even though most of us have yet to embrace it as a fun experience.

I took my first good wagon rut spin back in the early 1970s when, armed with about six solid seconds of real driving experience, I was given the keys to a brand-new two-door hardtop. The kind of car with the giant hood and short deck.

I felt pretty bullet-proof behind the wheel of that big old wide-tracking wonder- right up to the point where it got out of the wagon ruts and into a series of spins. Good luck beat up good judgment and I somehow managed to avoid re-shaping the bulging contours of that car.

So the poor snow removal policy of my community actually dates back to a time when climate alarmists predicted global cooling. I have no idea why the side streets were not cleared as soon as possible then-or now.

The best guess in my city is 20 to 25 more days before they get to all of the side streets, even though the snow has been here for quite awhile. The actual clearing will be a giant pile of snow on one side of the street called a windrow. This will effectively remove street parking on that side and will take away easy two-way traffic flow down the streets.

But it will get rid of the wagon ruts until the next major snowfall. Then the driving circus will get a fresh snow-covered start in my community: a place where winter is a fact of life for everybody except the people responsible for snow removal.

Jim Sutherland is a local freelance writer. He can be reached at mystarcollectorcar.com.