Back to school emotions

I had an inkling of what my emotional status was going to be when I got teary-eyed at the parent orientation meeting the week before, watching a PowerPoint presentation of children I didn’t know.

I had an inkling of what my emotional status was going to be when I got teary-eyed at the parent orientation meeting the week before, watching a PowerPoint presentation of children I didn’t know.

There may also have been a tiny indication of my instability when I got the sniffles while writing my daughter’s name in her backpack, lunch kit and sneakers a few days prior.

But nothing prepared me for my reaction to saying goodbye to my daughter that morning.

Fast forward past me crying once we got out of the school doors and ignore the void that was present during the entire morning of doing our errands as a duo, not a trio. Let’s just zoom right in on the twist of the blade, the moment when I went to pick my daughter up. And she didn’t want to come home. Not entirely true. She wanted to eat lunch. So I did have some bargaining power when it came to actually embarking home in our mini-van.

But her brother and I? Chopped liver.

So, thank you very much, Big Shot Educational Facility. With your abundance of puzzles, books and games. Thanks for the heartache. How the heck are moms to compete with all the razzle dazzle?

Play structures the size of dinosaurs are not very economical and lockers are not appealing home décor for the average home. And let’s call dress-up centre what it really is—a closet! Maybe we don’t have all the Strawberry Shortcake books and maybe we don’t have multi-colored carpets (on purpose); but we do give great hugs and we only want the best for our children.

Oh wait, you have that too? Never mind.

My point is this: It hit me — hard — that this was the first time that my child had ever been surrounded by essential strangers for any length of time, without me. This school year will be the first time my husband and I trust someone else to give guidance to our children on our behalf. This is the first time that I’ve been faced with the realization that I will miss out on moments of my baby girl’s life—a life I helped create and one I have nourished, ever since.

I know that this reality of my child already loving school is better than the alternative of having trouble adjusting to the separation. I saw a few teary-eyed kids that day and it almost broke my heart.

I just need time to adjust, myself.

Raina Dezall once got a piece of Kleenex stuck up her nose in elementary school. Teachers don’t get paid enough. You can contact her at mother_load@hotmail.com.

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

Ice shifted to the shoreline at Sylvan Lake on April 21. (Photo contributed by Andrea Swainson)
Icy shores of Sylvan Lake

Ice shifted to the shoreline at Sylvan Lake on April 21. (Photo… Continue reading

A Loblaws store is seen Monday, March 9, 2015 in Montreal. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Ryan Remiorz
In absence of mandated paid sick days, some companies are stepping up

Only 42 per cent of working Canadians say they have access to paid sick leave

President Joe Biden waves after holding a virtual meeting with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, in the East Room of the White House, Tuesday, Feb. 23, 2021, in Washington. THE CANADIAN PRESS/AP-Evan Vucci
New emission-cutting goals called ‘aggressive,’ ‘ambitious’ and ‘illogical’

Canadian industry is being compelled to cut methane emissions by 45 per cent by 2025

Curtis Labelle (second from left) and his band are planning a cross-Canada tour in 2022. Meanwhile, Labelle is continuing to host his weekly livestreamed talk show, Chattin 88. (Contributed photo).
Red Deer rock pianist takes on a talk show role

Curtis Labelle’s Chattin 88 gets views from around the globe

Brooke Henderson, of Canada, watches her tee shot on the 17th hole during the final round of the Tournament of Champions LPGA golf tournament, Sunday, Jan. 24, 2021, in Lake Buena Vista, Fla. (AP Photo/Phelan M. Ebenhack)
Canadian Brooke Henderson vaults into tie for fourth at LPGA Tour event

Henderson is sixth in the world women’s golf rankings

Switzerland’s skip Silvana Tirinzoni makes a call during a women’s curling match against Canada at the 2018 Winter Olympics in Gangneung, South Korea, Sunday, Feb. 18, 2018. THE CANADIAN PRESS/AP-Natacha Pisarenko
Previously unbeaten women’s teams suffer setbacks at Grand Slam curling event

Top six women’s and men’s teams qualify for the playoffs.

FILE - Gal Gadot arrives at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party on Sunday, Feb. 9, 2020, in Beverly Hills, Calif. Gadot is using her Hollywood star power to spotlight remarkable women from around the world. The “Wonder Woman” actor is host and executive producer of a new documentary series “National Geographic Presents IMPACT with Gal Gadot,” premiering Monday, April 26. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP, File)
Gal Gadot spotlights women’s stories in new docuseries

First episode follows a young Black figure skating coach in Detroit

Immigration, Refugees and Citizenship Minister Marco Mendicino listens to speakers during a news conference in Ottawa, Friday October 2, 2020. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Adrian Wyld
Retaking language test unfair during COVID-19: applicants to new residency pathway

New program aims to grant 90,000 essential workers and international graduates permanent status

LtE bug
Letter: Questions around city funding for Westerner

The Advocate article on April 21 on page 3 “Council to discuss… Continue reading

Toronto Maple Leafs' Nick Foligno (71) and Mitchell Marner (16) celebrate Marner's goal on Winnipeg Jets goaltender Laurent Brossoit (30) during second-period NHL action in Winnipeg on Thursday, April 22, 2021. THE CANADIAN PRESS/John Woods
Leafs end five-game winless skid with 5-3 win over Jets in North Division battle

Leafs end five-game winless skid with 5-3 win over Jets in North Division battle

Taylor Pendrith from Richmond Hill, Ont. salutes the crowd after sinking a birdie on the 18th hole to come in at five under par during first round of play at the Canadian Open golf championship Thursday, July 24, 2014 in Montreal. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Paul Chiasson
PGA Tour Canada splits into Canadian, American circuits for 20201

PGA Tour Canada splits into Canadian, American circuits for 20201

Like father, like son: Floreal emerges as one of Canada’s top sprinters

Like father, like son: Floreal emerges as one of Canada’s top sprinters

Most Read