Boyfriend’s kid lacks discipline says girlfriend

I’m a 20-year-old woman in love with a 25-year-old divorced man who has a 4-year-old son, “Mikey.” Lately, Mikey’s mother has been letting us have the child more often because she has to go out of state on business. The problem is, this boy is very stubborn. He’s not a bad child. He just doesn’t like to listen.

Dear Annie: I’m a 20-year-old woman in love with a 25-year-old divorced man who has a 4-year-old son, “Mikey.”

Lately, Mikey’s mother has been letting us have the child more often because she has to go out of state on business. The problem is, this boy is very stubborn. He’s not a bad child. He just doesn’t like to listen. And for the most part, he always gets his way — from what he eats to when he goes to sleep. When he doesn’t get his way, he throws a fit.

I care deeply for Mikey and don’t agree with this type of upbringing. I wasn’t raised this way, and neither was my boyfriend. I helped raise my younger sister, so I understand discipline. I am not harsh, but I do want Mikey to listen to me. The other day, we took him with us when we shopped for a new TV, and he kept running around the furniture. At one point, I couldn’t find him, and he didn’t come when I called his name. My boyfriend said, “That’s normal. Let him be.”

If I had behaved like this growing up, my mother would have smacked my behind in front of everyone in the store. My boyfriend insists we leave him alone because he’s only with us for a short while. But my boyfriend often is at work when Mikey is here, which means I am the one who deals with this behavior. The least he could do is make it easier for me. Am I wrong to feel this way? — Young but Learning

Dear Young: You aren’t wrong, but you must remember that it is perfectly normal for 4-year-old boys to run around in a store and not listen. That doesn’t make it appropriate or safe.

Your boyfriend refuses to discipline Mikey because he doesn’t see him often. This does a disservice to all of you, especially Mikey. How will he feel secure and know his father loves him if Dad doesn’t care enough to watch his behavior and help him mature? Please ask your boyfriend to come with you for parenting classes. You can check online or at your local YMCA.

Dear Annie: My husband and I just returned from a luncheon following a funeral. We decided not to eat any of the food, as we were told by another person that the food had been sitting out uncovered for a couple of hours.

We felt that the food could be spoiled. Shouldn’t this food have been left in the refrigerator or warming in the oven?

Worse, people who arrived at the luncheon before the family were told to wait, which was another hour because the family stayed at the funeral home deciding what to do with the flowers. Is this proper? — Funeral Guest

Dear Guest: This was a funeral, not a party. It is appropriate to wait for the family, and they are entitled to linger at the funeral home if need be. But yes, the food should have been refrigerated or kept warm. We assume someone was in charge of setting out the food, and this is the person you could have consulted. If the food was inedible, it would have been a kindness for a few of you to offer to get some fresh supplies.

Dear Annie: I’m writing about the letter from “Left-Out Son,” who always did things right while his sister partied and was subsidized by their parents. They earned their money and can spend it as they choose, even if that means frittering it away on his sister.

The idea that parents are obligated to leave an inheritance and reward their children is repugnant. His reward was their guidance in teaching him what was right. It sounds as if he is on track to repeat his parents’ success through his own hard work, and that’s his inheritance. — No Entitlement Mentality

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Just Posted

Pumpjacks draw oil out of the ground near Olds, Alta., Thursday, July 16, 2020. A new report suggests the economic impact of the pandemic led to a massive increase in federal aid to Canada's oil patch. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Jeff McIntosh
Alberta economy ‘still reeling,’ says ATB Financial

Alberta’s economy is still feeling the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic and… Continue reading

Ella Stoner, five, is ready to cut off her hair and donate it to A Child’s Voice Foundation. (Photo by Lauren Stoner Photography)
Central Alberta girl to donate her ‘princess hair’ to A Child’s Voice Foundation

A five-year-old girl from Rimbey has never had a haircut before. Now,… Continue reading

Asymptomatic testing will now be available for "priority groups" who are most likely to spread the COVID-19 virus to vulnerable or at-risk populations. File photo by THE CANADIAN PRESS
Alberta adds 1,195 new COVID-19 cases Saturday

Red Deer has dropped to 760 active cases

Lacombe-Ponoka MLA Ron Orr
Central Alberta MLAs comment on UCP members kicked out of caucus

A pair of central Alberta MLAs have commented on the two United… Continue reading

Contributed photo
Johanna Hannaford: Central Alberta designer offers inclusive clothing

By Stephanie Rhodes Local designer Johanna Hannaford’s inclusive clothing creations are smashing… Continue reading

Vancouver Canucks' Zack MacEwen (71), Travis Boyd (72) and Jimmy Vesey (24) celebrate a goal against the Edmonton Oilers during third period NHL action in Edmonton on Saturday, May 15, 2021.THE CANADIAN PRESS/Jason Franson
Big third period lifts Vancouver Canucks to 4-1 victory over Edmonton Oilers

Canucks 4 Oilers 1 EDMONTON — Matthew Highmore scored twice in the… Continue reading

A vial of the Medicago vaccine sits on a surface. CARe Clinic, located in Red Deer, has been selected to participate in the third phase of vaccine study. (Photo courtesy www.medicago.com)
Canada’s vaccine rollout operation won’t miss a beat with new military leader: expert

DARTMOUTH — The sudden departure of the senior military officer in charge… Continue reading

Quebec Premier Francois Legault speaks during a news conference on the COVID-19 pandemic, Tuesday, September 29, 2020 at the legislature in Quebec City. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Jacques Boissinot
Quebec premier argues province has power to amend constitution in letter to Trudeau

MONTREAL — Quebec Premier François Legault has written a letter to Prime… Continue reading

A demonstrator stands in front of riot police officers during a banned protest in support of Palestinians in the Gaza Strip, in Paris, Saturday, May, 15, 2021. Marches in support of Palestinians in the Gaza Strip were being held Saturday in a dozen French cities, but the focus was on Paris where riot police countered organizers who said they would defy a ban on the protest, ordered on the grounds that it risked turning violent. (AP Photo/Rafael Yaghobzadeh)
Police fire tear gas on banned Palestinian march in Paris

PARIS (AP) — French riot police fired tear gas and used water… Continue reading

Photo by The Associated Press
NYC Pride parade bans police; Gay officers ‘disheartened’

NEW YORK (AP) — Organizers of New York City’s Pride events said… Continue reading

Welcoming cowboy boots at the historic and colourful Last Chance Saloon in the ghost town of Wayne near Drumheller, Alta., on Thursday, Sept. 19, 2019. The bar and hotel are up for sale. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Jeff McIntosh
‘It was a going concern’: Remaining bar and hotel in Alberta coal ghost town for sale

WAYNE, Alta. — Built during the First World War, it survived the… Continue reading

A letter from a bottle that washed up in New Brunswick in 2017 is shown in an undated handout photo. A team of researchers from Université du Québec à Rimouski are trying to solve the mystery of whether a letter in a bottle that washed up in New Brunswick in 2017 was indeed from a young victim of Titanic shipwreck or simply a hoax. THE CANADIAN PRESS/HO, N. Beaudry, UQAR *MANDATORY CREDIT*
Real or hoax? Quebec scholars probe mystery letter allegedly from Titanic passenger

MONTREAL — Researchers from Université du Québec à Rimouski are trying to… Continue reading

Minister of Transport Marc Garneau takes part in a press conference on Parliament Hill in Ottawa on Tuesday, Nov. 26, 2019. Advocates, experts and opposition MPs say correspondence showing close communication between the federal Transport Department and the Canadian Transportation Agency regarding passenger refunds throws into question the independence of the CTA, an arm’s-length body. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Sean Kilpatrick
Emails reveal close communication between government, transport regulator on refunds

OTTAWA — Advocates, experts and opposition MPs say correspondence showing close communication… Continue reading

Most Read