Dear Harlan: My wife is pregnant and has placenta previa.
We’ve been told by our doctors that she is most likely going to have a Cesarean section. This is a huge difference from the natural birth that we originally had planned. I was wondering about how to take care of my wife and what I need to do to help her after the surgery. I have read horror stories online from moms who have had C-sections, but I am just not sure what to prepare for and how to help my wife. Thank you. — Prepping
Dear Prepping: Stop reading that other stuff. It won’t help you or her.
Barring anything unexpected, which can happen during any medical procedure, focus on the good. There are perks — she will have a longer hospital stay, which will help you figure out how having a baby works. She’ll have a firm delivery date — no speeding tickets. The procedure will be planned, so it’s as safe as it can be. Of course, your wife would prefer a birth without surgery, but there’s no reason to worry until you have a reason to worry. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, roughly one in three babies were delivered via C-section in 2007 (the latest reported figures). That’s 1.4 million deliveries with a very low rate of complications. So, relax. Still, talk to the doctor and ask what he or she recommends (consider doing this privately). Plan on having extra help following the birth. Start with a lactation consultant if your wife plans on breastfeeding. Look into a night nurse or a family member staying with you guys for a couple of weeks. Also, make yourself available
in the first month. Try to take as much time off as you can if you’re not a stay-at-home dad. You’ll be the one lifting the baby in the middle of the night, changing diapers and helping your wife nurse while she heals (if she nurses). Also, consider freezing meals, asking friends to bring food and finding ways to make it so your wife has nothing to do other than heal. Healing will takes weeks, not days. Congrats! This is all very exciting.
Dear Harlan: What do you do if you like your boyfriend’s brother more than your boyfriend? I’ve been seeing a guy and find that I’m with the wrong brother. Any advice? — Brother Lover
Dear Brother Lover: It’s just not cool to swing from different branches of a family tree. If you’re not happy with your current boyfriend, break up with him. Do it with kindness. He might be your future brother-in-law. Once it ends, stay away from his sibling. The only way to turn your ex’s brother into a lover is if there’s a lot of distance between you and your ex. Once your ex has another girlfriend, you can re-enter the picture.
But looking at the bigger brother picture, this situation tells me that you don’t have enough men in your life. If you did, you’d climb up another tree.