Dear Annie: I am a college senior, graduating in May. I am currently undertaking two internships, and one of them will include a job offer when a position opens up. But I don’t know if I should take it.
I have always had a passionate desire to live in Europe. Since childhood, I have never wanted anything so much. Last year, I studied abroad in England, and it only made me more determined to go back.
The internship job is terrific. I’d love the position, and it’s also possible that there will be an opportunity to go to Europe as part of the program now and then. Or, I could chase my dreams and move to Ireland after graduation. I have found a one-year work-abroad program for recent graduates there.
My parents think going to Ireland would be a mistake. They are worried that I won’t find a job or a place to live. Their disapproval makes my decision so much harder, but, Annie, if I don’t go now, I might miss the only opportunity I will ever have to do it.
People always postpone their dreams for the sake of practicality and then realize too late that they never had the courage to live the life they imagined. Please help me decide whether to follow my head or my heart. — Head in the Clouds
Dear Head: A job is important, and the one you are looking at is a good one. But this year is likely to be the best (if not only) opportunity you will have to spend a year in a foreign country.
It’s also possible that the internship position will not “open up” for another six months or more.
We think you should go to Ireland. But we also suggest discussing it with your current employer and asking whether the available position will still be around when you return. If they can be accommodating, it would satisfy your “dream” as well as your parents’.
Dear Annie: My brother has always been a selfish, self-centered person, but since our mother died, he has gotten much worse. He constantly insults his siblings, has stolen property from our mother’s home and has ostracized himself from everyone (including lifetime buddies) with the exception of his wife and kids.
Events that happened to me he now claims happened to him. One of the items he stole was a sports trophy that I won as a teenager. He will not return it, and he tells everyone that he won it. He displays it in his china cabinet.
Is he grieving? Bipolar? We have almost given up on him but would like your advice. — Unhappy Siblings
Dear Siblings: We don’t know what is wrong with your brother. If he truly believes the things he claims, it indicates mental illness.
The death of a parent can send a borderline personality off the edge.
Can you speak to his wife? Has she noticed that her husband’s behavioyr is more extreme or unusual than before?
If so, please urge her to get help for him.
Dear Annie: The letter from “Missing Mom in Maryland” brought back some amusing memories.
Our mom passed away in January. She was 88 years young. She left us a letter stating what she wanted everyone to have. She left me a quilt that my great-grandmother had hand-stitched, even though she had already given it to my nephew as a wedding gift five years ago. She left her bedroom set to my younger sister, but my older sister already had it. Mom put name tags on pieces of furniture. Some pieces had three names on them, and other tags had fallen off.
We all had a good laugh about it. Thank goodness we all inherited her sense of humor. — L
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.