Spy Kids: All the Time in the World
2 1/2 stars (out of 4)
Rated: PG
It doesn’t make scents for Robert Rodriguez to add a scratch-and-sniff dimension he calls Aromascope to the fourth Spy Kids movie, All the Time in the World.
It doesn’t work — most of the eight scented circles on the cardboard card to be scratched and sniffed when the appropriate number flashes onscreen smell the same, like papery bubble gum.
And the movie, a pleasant time-waster kids will love with a pro-family togetherness message parents can appreciate, doesn’t need the gimmick John Waters famously employed in 1981’s Polyester.
Rodriguez had some making up to do after the disappointing Spy Kids 3 and he’s come up with a fanciful, pun-laden, kid-based action flick starring Jessica Alba as secret spy stepmom Marissa Cortez Wilson, baby sister of original spy parent Gregorio Cortez (Antonio Banderas).
When we first meet Marissa (Alba), she’s nine months minus a day pregnant and chasing down one last baddie, the evil Time Keeper (Jeremy Piven, playing three characters, all of whom are a G-rated version of his Entourage character, Ari Gold).
Her family thinks she’s an interior decorator and Marissa has vowed this will be her last mission. Once junior is born, she and TV-host hubby Wilbur (Joel McHale) and perpetually bickering stepkids Rebecca (Rowan Blanchard) and Cecil (Mason Cook) will finally get some quality time together.
Winning over reluctant stepdaughter Rebecca is proving to be her real Mission: Impossible.
She’s hauled out of retirement by the return of the Time Keeper, who has found a way to speed up the world’s clocks while using every timepiece-related pun Rodriguez can muster.
Rebecca and Cecil find out the truth about Marissa and, with the help of their family pet Argonaut, a robo-dog who not only can spout witty one-liners, but sounds just like Ricky Gervais, they’re off to OSS spy headquarters to help save the day.
They pick up some cool spy gear from their cousin Carmen (original Spy Kid Alexa Vega) who is still carrying on a sibling rivalry with brother, Juni (Daryl Sabara).
The now-mothballed Spy Kids division at OSS (curse you, government cutbacks) is no longer creating the wily pint-sized spies who can confound adults with their kid smarts and groovy gadgets.
But the newly appointed Rebecca and Cecil show they’ve got what it takes and heed Carmen’s advice that the only way to win is if they quite scrapping and work together.
Meanwhile, Marissa continues to take down bad guys with the unnamed Spy Baby (a new sequel is born) strapped to her front, proving that multi-taskers on the mommy spy track can still kick butt when the need arises.
Filled with Saturday morning cartoon-style action and G-rated punch-ups and pratfalls, Spy Kids 4 benefits from quick pacing and a pair of very likeable moppets in the lead roles.
The 3-D is better than average: you will believe Cheezies can fly.
Meanwhile Alba, looking so fine in her skin-tight spy togs, will make any woman who has just had a baby jealous.
With all this going for it, it’s strange that the movie studio decided not to screen Spy Kids for critics, usually a sure sign it’s an acknowledged poor effort, or a movie that won’t please critics but will draw its target audience.
Yes, the Aromascope idea stinks. But Spy Kids 4 doesn’t. And its real secret weapon is the oft-repeated messages — from heroes and villains — that family time is precious and we are too prone to wasting it.
Linda Barnard is a syndicated movie critic for The Toronto Star.