Losing sleep over boyfriend who ‘ripped out my heart’

Dear Annie: My boyfriend of seven months recently ended things suddenly. “Ethan” is Mormon, and I’m Lutheran.

Dear Annie: My boyfriend of seven months recently ended things suddenly. “Ethan” is Mormon, and I’m Lutheran.

We were planning a future together. Ethan claims he wants to go on a mission and cannot prepare to do God’s work while having a girlfriend. He said we could still be friends.

But here’s the thing. He started hanging out with “Susan” the same month he broke up with me. He told me she was a “new friend” and also Mormon. He denied there was anything between them.

I am having trouble moving on because I don’t feel Ethan is telling me the truth.

He’s already ripped out my heart. The least he can do is be honest. Right now, he barely acts like an acquaintance, let alone a friend. I’ve lost sleep over this. What should I do? — Confused in California

Dear Confused: While Ethan is undoubtedly being honest about his upcoming missionary trip, we think he is being less so about the breakup. At least part of that has to do with your religious differences and his new interest in Susan. This is surely what you already suspect.

We wish Ethan had the courage to come clean, but don’t count on it. Accept that your relationship has run its course. Regardless of his next move, yours should be to put him behind you.

Dear Annie: My mother gives each of her kids and grandkids a specific amount of money for Christmas.

As far as any of us knew, it has always been an equal amount. Last Christmas, two grandchildren received more money. The others found out and were hurt.

Those two grandchildren lost their father last year. As saddened as we were over the loss, we feel this should have nothing to do with the money received from Grandma. After all, my sister’s family is well off and not in need of anything.

We also have noticed that Mom pays for a lot of things for our sister and her kids, including their hotels and plane fares, while the rest of us pay our own way. Please understand that we expect to pay for our own, but how come our sister is taking advantage of Mom’s money? Those kids want for nothing and have all of the latest gadgets that they pay for themselves when Mom isn’t around.

We know Mom can do what she pleases with her money, but do we have the right to let her know how much it hurts our kids that she favors their cousins? — Trying To Avoid a Christmas Circus this Year

Dear Trying: We don’t think Mom favors the cousins. We think she feels sorry for them because their father died, and she is trying to make it up to them the only way she can. It’s OK to tell her that the other grandchildren have noticed and are hurt. What she does with that information is up to her.

Dear Annie: This is in response to “Single Too Long,” the 45-year-old man who has had no luck with the social scene. You suggested he ask his friends and family to critique him.

He is not at fault. There are a number of us out there who have plenty to offer.

The shame of it is that there are women who don’t want what we have. I say don’t change anything. Be true to yourself. Be uncompromising. Make them measure up to you, not the other way around. — G.

Dear G.: There are plenty of men and women who are perfectly lovely, but can’t find a date.

But if you keep doing the same things, you will get the same results. An honest critique could help assess whether you come across as too strong, too weak, appear unkempt, talk about yourself too much, etc.

No one should be resistant to change. There is always room for improvement.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

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