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Mean stepsisters driving son away from family

A few years ago, I married a wonderful, thoughtful, caring man. It was a second marriage for both of us. When we were dating, everything seemed to be perfect.

Dear Annie: A few years ago, I married a wonderful, thoughtful, caring man.

It was a second marriage for both of us. When we were dating, everything seemed to be perfect. His two sons are grown and out of the house, and he has two teenage girls still at home. My son was so excited to have brothers and sisters. I truly believed our families could mesh.

The big problem is, we cannot have the family together because his children are completely rude. When my son comes over or walks into the room, his children refuse to acknowledge his existence. They won’t talk to him.

I have spoken with my husband about this numerous times, and he always makes excuses for them. My son is very hurt, and it is hard on me. His children’s inconsiderate treatment of my son is driving a wedge between us. My son no longer wishes to attend family functions, because no one will speak to him except me.

These children are old enough to know better.

But I have come to resent all of them and don’t want any family events where my son isn’t welcome. What more can I do? — Lost and Confused in Texas

Dear Texas: Your husband should have put the kibosh on this treatment when it first started. His children don’t have to like your son, but they should treat him with respect, the same way they would like to be treated. It is unconscionable that he allows this to continue.

Tell him to put his spine back in and insist that his children behave with decency before it destroys your marriage. Also check the National Stepfamily Resource Center (stepfamilies.info) to see whether there is a support group in your area.

Dear Annie: You printed a letter from “Naive in the Midwest,” whose 70-something friend suddenly began propositioning the other (married) women in his social group. It was threatening their friendship of many years. Thank you for suggesting that she tell his wife to get him to a doctor because such behaviour could indicate a stroke or dementia.

Late in life, my father began making odd sexual comments, telling off-colour jokes and sending my siblings and me inappropriate birthday cards. Only after he died of a massive stroke did we learn he had been suffering small strokes for quite a while. Seeing his doctor may save their friendship — and his life. — Also In The Midwest

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net