Stepmother tired of supporting daughter

When I married my husband, he was divorced with a college-aged daughter. For some reason or other, she did not complete her degree. After college, “Connie” got a job and her own apartment. She became pregnant by a co-worker and had a son. Her dad and I were very disappointed.

Dear Annie: When I married my husband, he was divorced with a college-aged daughter. For some reason or other, she did not complete her degree.

After college, “Connie” got a job and her own apartment. She became pregnant by a co-worker and had a son. Her dad and I were very disappointed.

Later, Connie moved to another state and had two more children with the same man, but no marriage. Her dad and I supported her and paid her rent whenever she needed it. He advised her on the difficulties and disadvantages of raising children without marriage, but she didn’t listen.

She moved back home three years before her father died. Her mother died two years later.

My 57-year-old stepdaughter now lives in her mother’s house. Connie is on dialysis and lives on her disability income. I cook, clean and take her to the doctor. I also help with the bills.

The problem is, I am now 70 and ready to retire and return to my hometown to spend time with my immediate family. My widowed sister has invited me to live with her.

How long am I obligated to support Connie physically and financially? Should I remain here and put my life on hold? — Had Enough

Dear Had Enough: That’s up to you. You are the only parent Connie has, and you’ve stayed relatively close to her through the years.

Some parents would sacrifice their personal happiness to care for a child, but others reach the point where they become resentful and feel taken advantage of.

Can Connie manage without you? Could you look into available resources in her area for home health care, housekeeping and cooking, and perhaps contribute to the cost?

Her children are adults now. It’s time they took over the responsibilities you’ve been handling. Talk to them.

Dear Annie: I have been going to the same hairdresser for the past 12 years.

Lately, I have received some pretty bad haircuts, and I’ve noticed that the salon is not as clean as it used to be. There is often hair from previous customers on the chair and the floor.

I feel a strong connection to my hairdresser, and we’ve developed a friendship over the years, but I just can’t take another bad hairdo. I’m thinking of going somewhere else, but I don’t know how to do it.

Should I just stop calling for appointments, or must I “break up” with her directly? — Can Hairy Leave Sally?

Dear Hairy: After 12 years, your hairdresser deserves to know why you aren’t returning.

Is it possible the salon is having financial difficulties? Might she be ill and unable to do the work she used to? Inquire about her well-being, and then tell her what’s been bothering you.

Give her the opportunity to improve the situation before telling her you feel it is necessary to take your business elsewhere.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Dog-Free Wedding,” whose relative wants to bring her self-trained, poorly behaved “service” dog to the wedding.

I have had a seeing-eye dog for 30 years. My dogs are trained at The Seeing Eye in Morristown, N.J. Those of us who use legitimate service dogs, guide dogs, hearing or other therapy dogs are confronting a huge issue: people who train their own dogs and those who get service dog equipment off of the Internet. They dress up their pets as service dogs and bring them into public places.

“Dog-Free” has every right to refuse this person and her ill-behaved dog who was not professionally trained. If this relative has a legitimate disability and needs a dog, she should investigate the proper channels.

Otherwise, she is jeopardizing the rights and privileges for which those of us with legitimately trained dogs have fought for more than 80 years. — New Germany, Nova Scotia

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

Black Press File Photo
Valentine’s Day shooting in central Alberta leaves one man in hospital and another in custody

19-year-old Francis Edward Nepoose from Maskwacis has been charged with attempted murder.

Minister Rick Wilson poses with Katie at the Boys and Girls Club of Wetaskiwin, both wearing her Pink Shirt Day design. Facebook/ Boys and Girls Club of Wetaskiwin.
Be kind and wear pink for Pink Shirt Day

Katie with the Boys and Girls Club of Wetaskiwin created this year’s Pink Shirt Day design.

Bookings for COVID-19 vaccines for people age 75 or older start Wednesday. (File photo by THE CANADIAN PRESS)
Updated: Delays for seniors booking for vaccine appointments

Phone lines were swamped and the Alberta Health Services website crashed on… Continue reading

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is seen with Deputy Prime Minister and Minister of Finance Chrystia Freeland and Foreign Affairs Minister Marc Garneau as they meet virtually with United States President Joe Biden from his office on Parliament Hill in Ottawa, Tuesday February 23, 2021. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Adrian Wyld
Biden on China’s detention of two Michaels: ‘Human beings are not bartering chips’

But the White House offered no hints about how it might help secure their release

Meteor spotted over Edmonton, Alta., on Feb. 22, 2021 by several, who took to social media to share their surveillance camera captures. (@KixxAxe/Twitter)
VIDEO: Fireball meteor streaks across sky, spotted by early-morning risers in Alberta, B.C.

Videos of the quick streak of light flashing across the sky before 6:30 a.m. MST

Alberta Premier Jason Kenney makes his way to the chamber in Edmonton on Friday, March 20, 2020. Kenney says a recent bump in energy prices in the third quarter of the budget is helping the bottom line as his government prepares to introduce its 2021-22 budget. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Jason Franson
Higher oil prices boosting Alberta’s bottom line as budget looms Thursday: Kenney

EDMONTON — Premier Jason Kenney says a recent bump in energy prices… Continue reading

Montreal Canadiens head coach Claude Julien gives instructions during practice in Brossard, Que., Tuesday, July 14, 2020. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Ryan Remiorz
CP NewsAlert: Montreal Canadiens fire head coach Claude Julien

Assistant coach appointed interim head coach

(Photo by THE CANADIAN PRESS)
NFB hiring new execs to lead anti-racist practices, forge ties with Indigenous groups

TORONTO — The National Film Board of Canada is creating two key… Continue reading

The cast of “Schitt’s Creek” pose for a photo after winning the Award for Best Comedy Series at the Canadian Screen Awards in Toronto on March 31, 2019. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Chris Young
‘Schitt’s Creek’ earns third consecutive ensemble win at ACTRA Toronto Awards

Tamara Podemski won outstanding performance by a female on ‘Coroner’

NBA chooses All-Star reserves, with Zion among first-timers

NBA chooses All-Star reserves, with Zion among first-timers

FILE - In this March 9, 2020, file photo, New York Yankees' Clint Frazier runs to the dugout during a spring training baseball game in Clearwater, Fla. Brett Gardner's return to the Yankees won't displace Clint Frazier from taking over as New York's starting left fielder. Manager Aaron Boone said Saturday, Feb. 20, 2021, that the 26-year-old Frazier remained his first choice in left while cautioning developments during a season could alter intentions. (AP Photo/Carlos Osorio, File)
Yankees finalize deals for Brett Gardner, Justin Wilson

Yankees finalize deals for Brett Gardner, Justin Wilson

Jon Rahm tees off on the 10th hole in front of cardboard cutout fans during the first round of the Genesis Invitational golf tournament at Riviera Country Club, Thursday, Feb. 18, 2021, in the Pacific Palisades area of Los Angeles. (AP Photo/Ryan Kang)
West Coast behind, more fans about to show up on PGA Tour

West Coast behind, more fans about to show up on PGA Tour

Most Read