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Work arrangement causing friction

Dear Annie: I am a retired 70-year-old single senior and live on a fixed income.

Dear Annie: I am a retired 70-year-old single senior and live on a fixed income.

I try to be self-sufficient so I won’t have to depend on my children for anything. They have their own financial issues.

Two years ago, my daughter, “Alice,” asked if I would like to earn some extra money by helping at her workplace in the summers. I agreed, as it is a job I once did many years ago. I only work 10 to 12 days. It’s an hour away from my home, so when I’m working, I stay with Alice and her family.

I have some major expenses coming up and asked the boss for more hours. My request was granted. I also told the boss I do not want to infringe on my daughter’s hours and was reassured I would not. However, when I discussed this with Alice, she told me she doesn’t like working with me. She feels she always has to look out for me and also has to watch what she says. She added that my staying with her puts a strain on her family.

Annie, I am healthy and can work circles around most of the crew. I understand that Alice has to watch her conversations when I’m there, but I think she could deal with that for those few days a year. I drive separately to work and take lunch alone to give her space.

I told Alice she should be happy that I am able to pay my own bills. Otherwise, I’d have to come to her for occasional financial assistance. Both options would put stress on our relationship. Is my daughter being selfish, or am I? Is there a compromise? — Confused Senior

Dear Confused: Alice did a nice thing, only to discover that the result is harder to deal with than she anticipated. Could you arrange your workdays so they don’t coincide with your daughter’s? Could you drive the hour commute some of the time so you aren’t staying with her for two weeks every summer? Is it possible to find another part-time or temp job that will earn you the same amount of money? Talk to Alice, and see whether the two of you can come up with a way to make this work. This job isn’t worth alienating your child.

Dear Waiting: It’s possible the father is ill or otherwise incapable of responding. Having a relationship is beside the point. A medical history is a reasonable request and is important to have. If you can contact the siblings, we think you should do so. Good luck.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Tom,” who is upset because his girlfriend still lists herself as “single” on Facebook.

An engagement ring on the left hand third finger would probably compel her to change her status. Until then, she is, in fact, single. — Propose Already

Dear Propose: Yes, of course, but there is a variety of ways to list your status on Facebook, including “in a relationship.” If a girlfriend of eight months insists on being “single,” they don’t have a promising future.