Worry over message mom is sending to her daughter

Dear Annie: My four-year-old granddaughter, “Jill,” visited recently and declared, “My mommy told me to watch what I eat because she doesn’t want me to get heavy.”

Dear Annie: My four-year-old granddaughter, “Jill,” visited recently and declared, “My mommy told me to watch what I eat because she doesn’t want me to get heavy.”

Jill is certainly not heavy, and I was appalled that she was being told such a thing.

I assured her that she is perfect.

My son is divorced from Jill’s mother. He informed me that his ex does indeed send this type of message to her little girl.

My son is a great father. He tries to avoid confrontations with his ex and her parents, as they can be manipulative and self-centered.

I will never speak disparagingly to my granddaughter about her mother, but I am concerned about the consequences such messages deliver on a little girl’s self-image.

Obviously, her mother and grandparents are a huge influence. Should I stay silent and let my son deal with his ex? — Concerned Nana

Dear Nana: You should not say anything to the ex, but encourage your son to do so.

A four-year-old girl should be eating roughly 1,200 calories a day with an emphasis on healthy foods that provide her with the proper nutrients.

It’s OK to teach Jill which foods are helpful for her body and which are not. But Mom should not give the message that Jill isn’t good enough unless she is skinny, nor should Mom be restricting her daughter’s calories in an effort to make her thin.

Please tell your son to discuss this with Jill’s pediatrician. He needs to be her advocate. But you also are an influence in Jill’s life.

When she visits you, make her feel loved no matter how she looks or what she eats.

Dear Annie: My mother wants to use the Internet to look up definitions to crossword clues she is unfamiliar with. I feel this is cheating. Is it?

I believe if you don’t know or can’t answer the word in one direction, the intersecting clues are there to help you create the answer.

While looking up a definition might be helpful once you’ve solved the entire crossword, doing it in advance seems like an unfair advantage.

We are currently bickering over this, so your thoughts would be appreciated. — Crossword Junkie

Dear Crossword: Part of the challenge of crossword puzzles is not to know all of the answers in advance.

Where’s the fun in that? And some clues are deliberately set up to be interpreted in more than one way, so a definition isn’t necessarily useful.

It might be considered cheating if Mom were in a competition (dictionaries also provide synonyms), but since she is not, it only deprives her of the satisfaction of figuring out the clues on her own.

Please don’t make that your problem.

Dear Annie: Like “Your Husband,” I was one of those men with a significant sex drive.

But after three children, my wife shut me down completely.

I slept on the couch for four years until a family counsellor said we should divorce because we were lousy role models for our children.

My ex-wife has remarried, but is as unhappy as ever. I am still single, but have not regretted the divorce for a single day.

Physical touch is too important to turn off and not expect consequences. For a lot of men, sex is the glue that makes a relationship work.

Telling a man that sex is over is as devastating to him as telling a woman she can never again talk to her girlfriends.

Women would label that “abuse.” Well, many men consider the loss of sex to be just as horrendous.

As I told my daughter when she was older, “If you decide to give up sex, do not expect your husband to agree with you.

“There will be consequences.” — Your Next Husband

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Just Posted

RCMP investigate suspicious package in downtown Red Deer

Part of downtown Red Deer was closed to traffic due to a… Continue reading

Ottawa’s apathy on rural crime ‘outrageous,’ say central Alberta MPs

Recent parliamentary committee report on rural crime inadequate say MPs

The future’s exciting, but also a bit scary, for Red Deer’s high school grads

Concerns about job prospects, high cost of education expressed

Blind calf finds friendship in dog in central Alberta

Heaven and Sweetpea are best buddies. Heaven, a calf who was born… Continue reading

Walk raises awareness of victims of domestic violence

Central Alberta men and boys will walk a mile in high heels… Continue reading

Dogs and drugs don’t mix: Red Deer business wants to leave downtown after 18 years

One business owner is done with downtown Red Deer after 18 years.… Continue reading

Cast your votes for the Best of Red Deer

Nominations for the Best of Red Deer Readers’ Choice Awards are officially… Continue reading

Seniors: The unheard melodies

The sights and sounds around us enable us to experience our world.… Continue reading

Police find urn with ashes along bank of Red Deer River

RCMP find urn with ashes along bank of Red Deer River Red… Continue reading

North Vancouver RCMP seek skier whose pole caused brain injury to B.C. teen

VANCOUVER — A North Vancouver family is joining with RCMP to urge… Continue reading

Canadian ‘Aladdin’ star eyes diverse career championing homegrown talent

TORONTO — Canadian “Aladdin” star Mena Massoud says his wild carpet ride… Continue reading

Supreme Court will tuck into UberEats case about drivers’ benefit rights

OTTAWA — The Supreme Court of Canada will help decide whether a… Continue reading

Speech from the throne: Read the entire text outlining UCP priorities

The following is the speech from the throne, read Wednesday in the… Continue reading

Canada’s Rebecca Marino drops second-round French Open qualifying match

PARIS — Canada’s Rebecca Marino fell just short in a second-round qualifying… Continue reading

Most Read